BG Area Mothers of Multiples

a small glimpse in our unique journey…our real-life journey

Are Multiples More Self-Sufficient than Singletons? April 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — bgmoms @ 5:58 pm

I was reading a blog post by a friend of mine from high school.  She has a 2 ½-year old daughter, and she’s expecting twin girls later this year.  She talked about her older daughter never having gotten accustomed to being in her stroller; she said she’s maybe used it all of 10 times.  She noted that her twins won’t enjoy that luxury.

Having only my twin girls, I sometimes forget the idea of having “only one baby”. 

Our girls have ridden in their stroller from Day 1.  Even today, at 27 months old, walking independently (holding Mommy or Daddy’s hand) is a huge treat.

Our girls eat in their high chairs.  I don’t recall a single time they’ve sat in my lap to eat (at home or in a restaurant).

I lay our girls down for naps and at nighttime when they’re awake.  They’ve never been rocked to sleep, excepting literally a handful of occasions when someone was sick.  (And I treasure the memory of those rare occasions, too!)

If one of our girls is crying because she’s sick or tired or hurt, of course she gets cuddles…but if she’s crying just to fuss, this mama rarely gives in.  I can’t afford to perpetuate her behavior, for surely her sister would catch on quickly, and then I’d have not just one – but TWO – crying babes on my hands.

While a little part of me misses coddling my girls more, I feel like I’m giving them the gift of independence in teaching them the art of self-soothing, and of living within the context of set boundaries.

…but…

I can also cite ways in which my girls are probably more dependent on me than if I had “only one baby”.  I think most of these situations have to do with decisions I’ve made to manage our household “efficiently”.

Our girls didn’t start feeding themselves with their hands (outside of Cheerios) until they were about 14 months old.  I didn’t let them.  I just didn’t feel like I could handle the colossal mess that two little babies could certainly make in a matter of seconds.

Our girls still haven’t mastered our staircase.  In fairness, they get limited practice.  Unless my hubby is home, I usually run them upstairs myself (as quickly as possible) for a diaper change…so as not to leave the other child unattended for any longer than necessary.

Our girls have craft time, but it’s in a very controlled environment.  I hope I’m not squelching their creativity too much, but I have to contain the mess to some degree…I can’t afford to interrupt our day for two impromptu baths.

And of course there’s the idea of the girls’ dependence on each other, too.  That actually doesn’t play on my mind quite as much.  The one-on-one time we’ve had with the girls the past few months has gone really smoothly.  Further, our girls are so different in some of their play patterns, I feel like that they get individualized stimulation by necessity.

I don’t know what the answer is…I can only hope that as I continue to do the best I can for my girls, that everything evens out in the end…but it certainly is an interesting question to ponder.

And/or feel free to tell me I need to just “chill out”!  🙂

Mandy, mom to 27-month old fraternal twin girls

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April Meeting Recap: Speech and Language Development April 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — bgmoms @ 2:19 pm

Our April meeting focused on speech and language development.  We were so pleased to be joined by Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) Caroline Hudson.

Caroline first talked about her profession.  She explained that you should look for a SLP that has state and national licensure.  She talked about the venues in which SLPs work – beginning with NICUs in feeding-based therapy; in hospitals; in schools; in long-term care; in private clinics; and in home health settings.

In the state of Kentucky, the First Steps program provides SLP services to children through age three.  She noted that anyone can refer a child to the First Steps program for evaluation (call the local Life Skills office).  After age three, children can receive preschool services through the local school system if they qualify based on their needs. 

If a child does not qualify for services through the state, a family may consider a private therapist.  There is also a SLP center at Western Kentucky University, which is often more economical than a private therapist.  Private services may be covered through insurance, depending on your policy.

[Caroline provided contact information for several resources in our area.  Please let me know if you need more specific information.]

Speaking specifically to our group, Caroline noted that her philosophy is that multiples are not necessarily delayed “because they are multiples”.  She mentioned factors like prematurity, which is more common in multiples, may contribute to the need for SLP services, but being a twin or a triplet in itself is not usually a qualifier.

Caroline focused most of the meeting on outlining general milestones in speech and language development by age group.  She provided some excellent handouts, beginning with six to 12 months old, through age six.  [We have extra copies of these if anyone is interested.]

Throughout the discussion, Caroline stressed the importance of reading aloud…talking…singing…saying nursery rhymes.  “Narrate everything!” she said.  She reminded us that a child’s work is play, and through play is the best way to engage our children. 

Thanks once again to Caroline Hudson for an excellent presentation.

 

Tattletales April 11, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — bgmoms @ 2:30 pm

“No, no, Sissy!”

Those words never fail to get my attention and prompt me to drop whatever I’m doing, hurdle the baby gate, and see what is going on.

These days, it’s usually Baby B, alerting me that Baby A is doing something she’s not supposed to do.  She might be bending a page in a book, or trying to wedge herself behind the entertainment center, but Baby B is usually right that there’s some type of infraction in progress.

While on one hand I appreciate Mini-Me providing a second set of eyes when I’m loading the dishwasher in the adjacent room, I am a little conflicted about her tattletale behavior.

I don’t correct either of the girls in a “she-said, she-said” situation, but if I catch someone in the act, or if there is indisputable physical evidence, then I do take corrective action.

But I don’t want to encourage Baby B to be a know-it-all.  And I don’t want Baby A to begin to resent her sister for getting her in trouble…and maybe even retaliate at some point?

I know this isn’t just a “multiples” issue; I’m sure it happens when there is more than one child in the house…but as an only child, I find myself being pretty perplexed.

How do you handle tattletales in your house?  Has one child consistently been the tattler, or have your children switched up…so what goes around will eventually come around?

Caught-in-the-Middle Mama (a.k.a. Mandy, mom to 27-month old fraternal twin girls)